Obituary: Mike Bibby’s Career

Mike Bibby’s NBA career, (1998-2012) has passed away. It was 14 years old. Although the specific date of death is unknown, it is suspected to have been during last year’s NBA finals, where rumors of him being worked on in the back with a defibrillator during his Game 6 DNP – Coach’s Decision have never been confirmed nor denied. Perhaps it should have been a sign he could no longer be effective when he sputtered despite being flanked by LeBron James and Dwyane Wade. That’s like not being able to hit if you were protected in the lineup by Murderers’ Row. His career had dizzying highs and harrowing lows, highlighted by his Arizona state high school career scoring record, leading the Arizona Wildcats to a national title as a freshman in 1997 and not ending up as a personal trainer like backcourt mate Miles Simon. Lowlights included his 2 game stint as Andray Blatche’s dance partner on the 2011 Wizards and getting caressed gently by Josh Smith during a 2010 timeout in Atlanta… it got weird, didn’t it?In his brief stint with the Knicks, Bibby has zombied his way to +/- of -13, -19 and -18 in the Knicks 3 losses, accounting for nearly a negative 1 point swing per minute he has been on the floor. His PER, in a league with an average of 15.00, is a robust -1.1 so far in ’11-’12, threatening to have the worst recorded single season PER in NBA history. Calls to John Hollinger to deduce exactly what that quantitatively means have yet to be returned, although it would seemingly point to his inability to hit the broad side of a barn with his jumper, as well as his propensity to get beaten like he stole something every time he takes a stab at anything resembling defense.

Truth is, we should have seen this coming during his first introduction to the NY media after his signing, in which he vehemently defended himself against all the “critics”, who hadn’t actually appeared in the media at that point. We can speculate he may have been talking about his brother in law Eddie House or his children from their heated lockout family BBQ driveway games when he said “”I don’t care what you guys say about me, I don’t have nothing to prove.” Way to inspire confidence that you still have something left in the tank.

Sadly, odds are we’ll continue to see his corpse bopping around the Garden floor and bricking treys to the Mecca’s sweet organ music (much like Bernie danced his way along the beach to the steel drum in the legendary “Weekend at Bernie’s” series) until Shump and/or Baron are healthy enough to pry some of the ball handling duties away from his cold, rigor mortis grip. Or until D’Antoni decides to just go with 4 players on the floor when Toney is getting a breather, which is starting to seem like a borderline viable option at this point.

Mike’s career is survived by his father, Henry Bibby (legendary former LA Sparks head coach), his veteran’s minimum contract and his former Vancouver Grizzlies teammates Felipe Lopez, Shareef Abdur-Rahim and “Big Country” Bryant Reeves. Donations can be made to fund research to bring back British Columbian basketball.


5 Responses to Obituary: Mike Bibby’s Career

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